Where to lady?
Anywhere. Any where but here. Get me out of here before he wakes up.
I'm not sure what happened. I had finally scraped up the money to build my room of love. I invited Demi Tellerman over to see it. I rocked her world. She was so overcome with emotion that she wrote me a check for $70,950. So I gave her an encore performance. I mean for that she deserved it. Then I woke up this morning and she was gone. No note or nothing. Well some women just can't handle the Cleavester.
So I made some upgrades to the love room. Built a bathroom too. I now have a shower with message jets. Well when things are looking up and you have to share your new found joy. So I called up Andrea Pederson. She seemed a little stuck up when I first met her in South Ugton. Now she's eating out of my hands. It's the power of the Clevester. Women just can't resist me.
Yeah I showed Andrea a really good time. She told me she wanted to give me something. She hands me a check for 17k. I couldn't turn it down. That would have just been rude. So instead I made sure she got her moneys worth. That girl is hot underneath the cold exterior. I was sad to see her go.
But she had too. Otherwise me and Melissa couldn't have been together. Melissa is hot. Very hot. After being thoroughly taken care of, Melissa left me a check for 15k on the bedside table and took off. I would be insulted but why. These women know a good thing when they see it. The Clevester can do a lot more for them when he doesn't have money troubles after all.
The next day I was with Andrea. I never thought she'd give in so easily but she did. I showed her my new seating area. We made love on my new couch. I woke up feeling fabulous. There was a check for 5k tucked into the side of my undies.
After work I called up Marissa. Now that girl can kiss. Oh the things her lips can do. She left with a silly smile on her face. Me, I was 5k richer for it.
I was slightly hesitant about Kitty. Kitty is still just a college kid. I would be her first. Well seeing her swoon for me brought me back to my senses. How could I deny some sweet young thing the pleasure that only I could give. Yes, I deflowered little Kitty. She gave me her grant money for the semester, $1,000. So I took her back into my bed and made her purr. Good Kitty.
That night I invited over some friends to celebrate my new found wealth. Craig almost electrocuted himself. Damn good thing for me he didn't. The man is a good friend AND he just helped me get a promotion. Things are SO looking up. I can't imagine ever leaving Ugton now.
Well me and Brandi had a good laugh about Craig. Yeah Brandi was just a friend. I wasn't attracted to her in the least.
But then she suddenly got this look in her eyes. Almost fainted on me. I caught her and gave her mouth to mouth. We ended up horizontal. I felt kind of weird when I found the check for 8k the next morning. Brandi is a friend. I was just being friendly. Oh well. If they want to give it to me I can't exactly stop them.
Finally I got around to getting Sandy in my bed. I've had her in the hot tub but man I really had no idea how amazing she was. She's hot, funny, hot, gorgeous, hot, hot, hot....
Yeah, things heated up that night. I didn't want it to end. For the first time I considered asking her to stay. Maybe she sensed it. She threw me on the bed. Ravished me like I've never been ravished before. When I woke up there was a check for 14k and a note that said 'Call Me'. Trust me folks, I definitely will.
There is a day towards the end of the week that I don't really remember. I remember meeting Contessa Kimberly Collins for drinks. I think I remember having some fun in the photo booth and the bed. It's all kind of fuzzy.
Next thing I know I'm in some serious pain. I'm lying there on the ground and who should be standing before me but that crazy old gypsy. She cackles at me. I swear to you it was a cackle. Having fun she asks? I hope so. You've cursed your lineage for many generations to come. You're pleasure will turn to pain. Your greatest dream will turn into your greatest nightmare. You must accept who you are. You must embrace who you are. You must control who you are. Ok, so I stood up and openly stared. She's nuts. A wack job. Yeah things are good. How exactly could they ever go wrong. I walked away from her. It was sort of wigging me out that she had followed me to Ugton. As I'm headed inside she says to me, "You must produce a child of your name and of your lineage. He will be the first step in saving your lineage from a curse most awful." Me, a father. I don't think so.
Well I came home from work the next day to find a few surprises. For one thing, these contractors have done some work on the house. It actually looks like a house now instead of just a love shack. I have a garage, a kitchen and rooms that I have no idea what they are for. I also have a coffin. Kimberly's coffin. Apparently she didn't leave. Oh she gave me a check for $50,308 but then she didn't leave. Maybe she thinks it's rent. I have no idea. After the weirdness of last night I'm completely freaking out. Everything seems really wrong all the sudden. It's like coming down off a natural high. I don't know. It's just weird.
But then Brittany stopped by. I have to tell you that Brittany is a bit of a slob. Slightly smelly around the edges. I was feeling weird though. I needed a fix. I needed a woman. So I took Brittany on a little ride. It was a blast. Yeah, right up until the point where I woke up alone with $14 on my bedside table. Fourteen dollars. How have a sunk so low? Is the gypsy right? Am I cursed? I took the night off and gazed at the stars. I had some serious thinking to do.